Monday, July 26

The Day My Eyes Did That Funny Thing And I Bonded With Joe And Was Disappointed By Jack In The Box

My eyes did that thing again.

Basically, as I tried to explain to Joe as he rolled croissants, it's like I just looked at the sun for a few minutes and temporarily burned a hole through my retina. Distances aren't distorted at all because the mind has a remarkable ability to fill spaces like that with nonspecific assumptions--so a brick wall looks like a full brick wall, without a spot missing. But when I'm having a conversation with someone across the counter, it looks like anything immediately to the left of my focal point is literally erased. So your face across the counter looks like a one-eyed misshapen anomaly, a huge distraction when I'm trying to listen to what you're ordering. It's impossible to think about anything other than how crazy my vision is behaving. I always felt like people could realize that something was wrong with my eye--I blame the left one--but they couldn't exactly figure out what it was. I got that "Are you high?" look from some of them. Really I was just keeping my cool while part of my eyesight went missing.

I blame the Cheerwine, iced mocha, shot of espresso, and two cups of black tea--which resulted in a minute headache at the same moment my eyes went all funny. The coordinated arrival of both makes me suspicious. Can too much caffeine fuck with your eyes? I know the body is capable of incredibly puzzling behavior, especially when exterior chemicals are added to the mix, and in excess. I was actually happy to have come up with my first theory about this visual phenomenon. For the most part, my eyesight is fine. The only variable I can think of is the unusual amount of caffeine I chose to consume at the start of my shift.

Anyway, I'm listening to the new Arcade Fire album.

I listened to "Sigh No More" twice at work today, which is one less than yesterday. I also think Joe and I are becoming friends. He's one of the cool bakers. Jack, another baker who came in a bit later, hasn't quite warmed up to me. Maybe I see a little of myself in Joe, and Joe can relate because he was in my shoes not too long ago. He put up with my "new normal music" for most of the night before asking for the old stuff. The Zeppelin and the Stones. I'm trying to embrace the new. I'm all about the new.

This Arcade Fire album is great, by the way. Something about it lacks the immediate bond that I felt to Mumford and Sons. I'll be playing both tomorrow night, I'm sure, along with the new Jack Johnson--though I gotta say, Jack... It's getting old.

Don't get the Big Chicken Sandwich Combo from J-in the-B. It's a lame sandwich.

- Left to Fry

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