Got an e-mail from someone new in the Peace Corps universe that reminded me that I'd been nominated for the Masters International programs, that I'm in the July-through-September 2012 time-slot for departure, and to be sure to get my medical clearance taken care of ASAP. Thanks Danielle. I'm on it.
I didn't accomplish many of my May Goals, so those will move like Rollover Minutes into June, including "Write a short story" and "Get a Macbook hard-drive" and "Read a book."
I did start a garden (with Daniel and Jenny), however, and by the month's end we had two baby tomatoes and sprouting spinach and some growth on the cucumber, Anaheim pepper, and one single marigold flower that wasn't picked by Jenny mistaking it for a weed.
I'm also adding "Start working on Peace Corps Medical / Dental forms" and "Find alternative income" to my June Goal List. I didn't do so well saving money during May. Maybe it's time to start selling things. The car wasting away in the parking lot would be a good start. Then my TV, then my excess of DVDs, my lame bed, my unnecessary mini-fridge... Liquidating time is around the corner.
I'm back in that gray area between loving and hating my job at Old Soul. Of course I want more money and the self-respect that higher income brings, but at what cost? To lose the social interaction. To lose the access to good coffee and food and friends. To give up a role in one of Sacramento's favorite hole-in-the-walls. I can sacrifice that for only a few things: a profitable career in writing, or school. Seeing as I've got Sac State to attend in the fall, I figure a handful of more months behind the espresso machine won't kill me, and in fact will motivate me to make the most of them. Ask me how I feel about this tomorrow, however, and I might have totally changed my mind. It's absolutely terrible not having health insurance. It's twice as bad knowing I simply can't afford it. Plus this goddamn credit card debt... This thorn that's slowly spiraling deeper and deeper... My statement says it'll take me twenty years to pay off at the rate I'm paying it off, and it's not even that much debt compared to what college costs me. So when I look at Old Soul from a financial point of view, it's absolutely ridiculous. But as a lifestyle choice, it's perfect for me.
I worked with Meredith today for the first time in months and months and it was funny to see the customers react to having the opposite ends of the Old Soul spectrum reunited on the same shift. Talked to her about the ups and downs of being in a long distance relationship. Talked to her about why we're having all this rain in June. Made good tips and spent the last two hours working with Nick.
The bonfire was mellow. Started out with just me and Julie-Ann. We talked about our friends who are scheduled to leave Sacramento. Then Jenny arrived after her interviews with new roommates were postponed because her current roommates bailed. The weather had cleared and the fire was warm and healthy while Scooby Doo cartoons played in the background behind Arcade Fire and Astronautalis. Soon after, Michelle arrived, then Drew came down to join us, followed by Jenn and Nick and Daniel and Cayla. I remember Michelle's mountain-biking accident, talking about the Backdoor bar in Old Sac, making plans for Jenny's going away party in August, debating whether Velma or Daphne was more attractive and learning about California's consistently poorly-handed constitution. We talked around the firepit for a while and decided that we were all hungry, so we put out the flames and walked over to Spin Burger. We drew on the chalk wall and I told Nick about my plan to pay off my credit card with financial aid, though that sounded horrible when I said it out loud and still think that's my best hope, a temporary bandage, at least. After that the event ended and everyone went home. I stayed at Jenny's and she said "Sometimes I want to push you away so it'll be easier to leave," and I completely understand where she's coming from. There's no easy remedy for that feeling and I imagine it might just get worse as summer goes on, but we don't know that for sure, so I guess I'll tackle those emotions when they come up later.
- Left to Fry
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