From Jenny @ 1:32 PM
So I'm gonna take this opportunity to be a bad influence and say that you should try to switch/cover your shift on Sunday so we can adventure together in Santa Cruz. Just sayin. Think about it.
To Meredith @ 1:34 PM
Hey I love ya and was throwing out the wonder if you would maybe be able to cover me on Sunday morning. A pretty girl wants me to go to Santa Cruz.
From Meredith @ 3:15 PM
Would you be able to work for me tomorrow if I covered you on Sunday?
To Meredith @ 3:16 PM
I totally will do that.
To Jenny @ 3:18 PM
I got Sunday covered.
From Jenny @ 3:30 PM
:) !!
Thursday morning began with my grandmother and sister after picking them up from the train station around 9:00 and getting breakfast at Lucky's Cafe. Afterward I took them into Old Soul to visit with Meredith and Jessica, and then it was time to go to the mall, where I walked away with two new shirts and The Orange Box on PS3. My sister needed pants--she's growing taller every time I see her--and we perused the Hyundai cars at the in-mall dealership, just for fun. At around noon my family left by bus for Auburn and I went back home to rest.
Did some writing. Felt mildly productive. Made plans with Sean for him to come visit tomorrow. Watched a movie, smoked some pot and played videogames. Great rainy afternoon activities.
Then at around 8:30 I walked through a light rain to Jenny's house on Q Street, singing out loud Biz Markie's "Just A Friend," as I passed the Sacramento Bee headquarters with my hands stuffed into my pockets. Jenny was alone when I got there, cooking something delicious in the kitchen, and after she offered me a plate she put on a Nancy Sinatra album while we ate and talked about her most recent Capitol Weekly articles. Chicken with rice and green beans, splashed with a little bit of Louisiana Hot Sauce, and chased with lemon ginger tea. Probably the best home-cooked meal I've had in a while.
When the other roommates arrived, we had plans to go out for a drink, but since everyone was taking so long Jenny and I had enough time to watch an episode of This American Life. Finally, with the night nearing 10:00 and my bedtime rapidly approaching, I suggested that Jenny and I go ahead to the bar and the others meet us there.
We were halfway through a game of pool at The Round Corner before our group reassembled. I'd told Jenny that I was "pretty good" at pool, after which I scratched nearly every shot and Jenny proceeded to win. I performed a little better in the team match we played with Jen and her boyfriend, Nick, but barely. Looks like I need a little more practice before I join any tournaments. Nick (my coworker) and Ashley were also there, which made the night feel like a triple-date, and I was totally comfortable with that. Once the clock struck 11:30, however, I knew it was time to be responsible and head home, since I had to open the next morning.
I forfeited responsibility, however, when Nick (not Jen's Nick) offered a bowl to smoke on the balcony, and after that I felt compelled to ask Jenny if I could stay the night. "You're always welcome," she said, clicking off the bedroom lights. Only the candles remained lit. "Let's have a romantic moment," she said, laying down on the bed to face the ceiling. "French music and candles. What could be more romantic?"
"We could be in France," I suggested, laying down beside her.
"That's true," she said. "Well let's just pretend."
Not long afterward, with the Eiffel Tower outside the window, when it was time to fall asleep, she asked, "Do you think it'll burn the house down if I leave one of these candles going?" and I replied, "You know... That's probably a lot of peoples' famous last words," and she replied, "Touché," and blew it out.
I was so restless. I was consistently moments away from kissing her, from turning her face up to mine and just getting it out of the way. The tension is fantastically horrible. My fast-beating heart kept me awake. We cuddled and touched and talked for a while, far beyond my bedtime hour, and I never quite felt like pushing beyond that point of no return. I don't think she would reject me. I think we're basically in an unspoken relationship, at this point, but I can't quite commit to the idea because it sprouts up too many conflicting thoughts. I don't know how to handle Kirsten, for example, and I don't know if I'm prepared to change.
But for Jenny...
What I want to do is see what happens in Santa Cruz. Part of me wanted to get that first kiss out of the way during the night because then it wouldn't be a concern during the weekend. Oh well. I eventually convinced myself that this delayed gratification will be a cherishable memory someday, that laying with her and getting to know her and slowly, slowly inching forward toward romance is more enjoyable than leaping without looking. I convinced myself of this and fell asleep around 3:00am, two hours before waking up to leave and clock in on time at work at 5:40.
Life's a trip.
- Left to Fry
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