Wednesday, August 11

The Day I Started Counting Down The Days Until I Move Out And Made A Few Goals For My Future Self And Dwelled On The Concept Of Time

Sometimes I don't feel like sleeping. Sometimes I'll stay up late and keep re-writing blog entries until I feel like I've written something worthwhile. This is the closest thing to a journal I've kept in a long time. Sometimes this is more relaxing than sleeping.

June was the month it all crumbled.
July was the month it all changed.
August was the month it all settled.

I knew that 2010 was going to be an important year.

It started with getting fired from Creekside. It evolved into overwhelming stress. It turned into the end of a long-term relationship. Next, the consolidation of jobs, the craigslist hounding, and the eventual deposit for a room near Old Soul in Midtown. All of this in a matter of 3 months. One summer. A blink of an eye, in retrospect.

Here I am, still in Rhonda's spare bedroom.

I am officially 19 days away from moving into my new home. Yes, I know it'll get here sooner than I can imagine. Time has a funny way of doing that. But I can't help but focus on the fifteen closing shifts I'll be working before then. The additional payments toward the total move-in cost (roughly 1000 dollars). The parking fees. My parking ticket. I can't help but grumble about gas prices. I can't help but wish the next 19 days would magically disappear and tomorrow I'd have my own bedroom to sleep in. My own space. My own life.

I feel completely self-aware of my impending re-birth and it's driving me insane. I'm obnoxiously impatient--so much so that I can't even sleep. My thoughts are too distracting to focus on my writing (except for this, of course). I tune into movies and the internet and the occasional chapter from Ender's Game. I'm trying to keep my mind busy. It's during late nights like tonight when all the thinking catches up to me. In 19 days I will step out of this shell of Past Chris and burst forward as an entirely new person. I can feel it the way a moth anticipates its shiny new butterfly wings. I envision myself driving less, saving more, enjoying life, making friends, branching out, getting connected, and loving everything. I took a walk through Capitol Park a few days ago and it was one of the most tranquil, wonderful things I've done in a long time. I expect to do that a lot more. I only have to wait a few more weeks.

One of my new goals is to become more physically flexible. Stretching every day. Maybe a couple yoga poses here and there. Then I'll start jogging (I mean it, this time) or riding a bike. I'll eat more granola. I'll eat more vegan food. Less unnecessary sugars. As little fast-food as possible. And hell, maybe even a little less marijuana. I've already decided not to buy any--though mostly because I need every penny for September's rent. Overall, I want to stop appearing healthy and actually become healthy. I'm a skinny guy, but that doesn't mean anything if I'm not taking care of myself.

I also need to start looking into what kind of plant I want to get for my new room.

Quote of the Week: "We are trapped inside of bodies, trapped inside of time."

- Left to Fry

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