Despite being late to work, it was a surprisingly good day. Stressful, yes, and chaotic, but quite entertaining when I allowed myself to surrender to it. That's what I'm all about these days: surrendering to whatever may be. For example, last night Kirsten slept over and we shared the bed--not that we slept much, having stayed up to about 4:00am drinking beer and lulling about my room. She left at 5:30 to open and I slept through my 7:20 alarm. Jason called met at 8:12 to ask me if I had plans to come into work today.
Nothing worse than waking up late to work. Thank God I live a hundred steps down the alley, otherwise I would've been super screwed. Part of me remembers being late once or twice earlier in my Old Soul days, but not being nearly as afraid as I was today. Jason was working behind the counter. It was packed inside. I hadn't even put on any deodorant. My first plan was to work my ass off and make sure the bosses noticed; an apology with action before an apology with words. I think I kept the waters calm. And Kirsten was a good coworker to carry me through the morning rush.
We had plans to go to Thunder Valley Casino tonight after I got off work. Plans changed when she got home and realized how exhausted she was, and I'd lost the urge as the last hour of my shift rolled around. I think we're going Thursday night instead.
But yeah, it was terribly nice to have Kirsten in bed with me. There's a part of any relationship that can't be replaced, no matter how bad the break-up was, and that's the presence of another warm body in your bed. I miss that feeling almost as much as I miss Banjo. The bottom line was one of us would otherwise have to sleep on the floor, and it wasn't like we were strangers anymore. It felt like a very adult moment. My bed is small, so I wrapped my arm under her and we slept in a partial-spoon. Nothing more than sleeping and hand-holding happened under those blankets. Instincts within me were ready for more, but it's likely for the better that it stayed PG. Her air-raid siren alarm was waking me up at 5:30am before I knew it, and after letting her out the front gate, I went back to bed and overslept.
Kirsten has a compelling openness about her and, after a recent divorce and her mother's passing, a newfound view of life that makes a lot of sense to me. She's also kind of a bad-ass, though a tad reserved in social situations. She knits, listens to good music, and she's smart without being pedantic. The conversation was good, the night was fun. Kirsten has a clear goal and vision of the future that I can't see myself being a part of, so I am not sure what's to come of last night's Lost In Translation moment, but we shall see.
I think the thirty-year-old's I've befriended recently like me because they see how willing I am to learn from their experiences, their stories and advice. Alternatively, I look to them for hints of the future, like asking a river guide what to expect around the next bend. I'm able to relate to situations years ahead of my time, but I think a lot of that comes from this passion for discovering the nuances of a human being, and a real fascination for the tiny details. Where those relationships lead, I can never tell, but it's all part of getting to know someone as a person. At thirty or twenty-three or sixty-four years old, I like to touch the nerve that compels people to share themselves. Because, if we're not sharing, then what are we living for?
- Left to Fry
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